Oktoberfest!!!!

  Hey hey all our friends back home, where burritos flow like wine, and your never more than a stones throw from a taqueria.  As you can tell I'm having serious Mexican food withdrawals, someone please open a proper Mexican hole in the wall in europe.  So this is the story of Oktoberfest, and how I survived it.  This year is the 200th anniversary of what I can only explain as a massive party, put in motion by the Bavarian king and queen after their wedding.  This is important that its a Bavarian festival, not a German one.  Their the people who where lederhosen and blow the Ricolla horn, the girls where the cleavage exposing dresses like the girl on St. Polly Girl beer (which is not a German beer) and theirs no such thing as a 'small' beer.  This place is like Disneyland if everyone was hammered, not buzzed mind you, like two gallons of beer each HAMMERED.  There are crowds of people doing nothing but watching in delight as full grown men in leather trousers are tossed on their buts, by every kind of spinning contraption imaginable.  I remember thinking 'look at those fools' but three hours later their I was, minus the leather trousers mind you.
 
TO SURVIVE:
1.EAT A BIG DINNER FIRST
The Bavarian pre Oktoberfest dinner consists of sausage, potato noodles, and wheat beer to give the stomach a good base.
2.START EARLY AND PACE YOURSELF
Its imperative to arrive early, get a seat in a nice beer tent, and take your time.  Remember the beers come 1 liter at a time so three and a half and your at a gallon.
3.EAT THE PRETZELS
This is where the giant pretzels at carnivals come from, the salt and the bread are a perfect combination for longevity when consuming large quantities of beer.
4.GET A SHANDY
Don't be ashamed to order a mix of lemonade and beer, or at least get one or two waters throughout the night.  You have to stay hydrated.
5.WEAR SHOES WITH GRIP
By half way through the night everyone will be dancing on the benches and they will be wet from spilt beer, be prepared.
6.EINS, ZWEI, DREI, PROST!!!
Every time this is said, you must smash your steins of beer together with, by this time, your new best friends then drink a few large guzzles of beer.
7.KEEP A FEW EUROS HANDY
On your way out, you will want to ride the rides, even though you won't be able to walk very well, and you do not want to be fumbling around with your wallet.
8.MAKE SURE THERE IS SOMEONE MORE SOBER THAN YOU
This is the only way to make it to a bed, every day their are drunk americans all around the grounds who did not follow this most important rule.
 
These are a few rules I would have loved to hear before attempting the Oktoberfest.  I followed #'s 6 and 8 with Nimas help of course, so I at least made it home.  The rest I did not.  I thought I had broken my wrist, after a most excellent tube ride on the table, but I wiped out.  I had a hang over for two days, as well as a tight bracelet on my right wrist.  I think its ok now.  On our second attempt, we had a much more sober time, it was time to see the sites.  This was the first year that they had a replica of what the Oktoberfest might have been like 200 years ago, complete with a king and a queen and horse races, along with beer brewed the traditional way and served in ceramic steins.  This was very cool to check out.  All in all we had a great time, and I lived to tell the tale.
  Oktoberfest is located in the center of Munich, Germany, one of the coolest cities we've seen.  First we stayed with a guy named Adler, one of Pauls old friends from San Francisco.  Adler and his Fathers were our escorts on the first attempt at Oktoberfest, they took us to the two most famous tents, and we had an awesome time together.  Adler showed us around his most excellent city, one of the coolest parts was the English garden, which is apparently the biggest park in a city of over a million.  This place had many Beer Gardens,(which is just like a normal garden, only instead of growing stuff, people drink beer) it had lakes, canals, and even its own surf spot, the eternal wave of Icespa.
  Our next hosts were Steffi and Jens, a really cool couple who happened to be friends with Julia, a girl we met at a commune a few weeks prior.  Together we spoke of Anarchy, played the coolest zombi board game ever (it was in German) and explored the fascinating effects of all of the famous Oktoberfest beers.  We went with them to a friends house where Steffi made us some great traditional German cuisine, already referred to in step one of the Oktoberfest survival guide. Without the generosity of our hosts we couldn't have spent more than an hour in Munich, thanks so much you guys.  And so you all know back home I am currently on a beer fast.  Wow these people know how to party.  Next up Prague, remember to buckle up, and don't text on 17.